i slept at 4am last night mann.
and i wasn't tired, at all !
even now im hyped out lah!
what the hell was wrong with me??
well, i was falling in love ♥
the new guy,
nice ; sweet ; funny ; friendly ;
having feelings for me?
aiyoyoks. what should i do?
but who knew,
we chat chat chat `
and slowly,
we had some chemistry going on..
i ironically fell for him, too.
but, something went wrong.
although i stil like him,
that 3rd person kinda ruined it.
i don't know, but im not angry of anyone ;
in fact, im in love with TWO guys?
Ohhh goshhhh `
but, how could i be such a jerk?
i am loyal.
i know i am.
therefore my decision...
i LOVE [ mr new guy in my life ], as my bestest guy fren ever!!!
i like him [ mr considered-old guy in my life ] cuz im loyal
and mr new guy is willing to sacrifise and help me..
conclusion :
♥ MR NEW GUY !! it doesn't matter that now i've made up my mind
i know, i stil like you, not only as my fren...
i don't regret liking you, at all !!!

UPDATED

X to the power of N ....no update my blog dy...
!!SRY!!
lately too tension dy,so long long time no update..

TENSION
TENSION
TENSION><
i cannot tahan dy...the pressure is so BIG!
S.O.S

Update on yours truly...

I don't know if anyone still reading this. But since the purpose of this blog is to replace my diary, I'm still gonna write when I feel there's a need for it. But if there's anyone out there who still read this blog, then I have to apologize.

Lately I've been feeling out of sorts. So I've taken to not writing when I'm emotional. If you noticed, I've taken down my last entry coz I believe it wasn't appropriate to be viewed by others. It's one thing to be upset at someone, but it's a low blow to air it out when I didn't even confront them face to face. That's my weakness. No matter how upset I am at someone, I hate confrontation. But I'm learning that no one is perfect. So either I do something about it or let it go.

Last few weeks was tough (emotionally) for me. Relationship questions was flung left and right. So I'm going to clear something up here. It was out of choice and some of them are not. I'm not the type to just have a casual fling and see where it leads. I'm the type who would date with only the thought of marriage. So I'll probably never going to date until I'm old. Yes, at times I'm gonna be very lonely. I do get jealous watching people have someone to rely on. But I'm not gonna fall victim on the trend where it's cool to have boyfriend. Yes, I'm very childish, 'manja' and clingy. But I'm only like that towards my friends. So don't misinterpret that. I'm not a lesbian, he's not my 'boyfriend' just because we hang out a lot. Btw, I have no problem being friends with guys, but I'm starting to get tired of people's misconception about the word 'friend'. I may take other people words lightly, but I'm very considerate towards my friends feelings. If being friends with me cause more harm than joy to them, I tend to step back.

Yes, I don't have a happy face all the time. I sucks at conversation with strangers. And I'm in no way 'friendly'. I have a lot of friends. I'm very clingy towards them but I do know my limits. And I'm not looking forward to change that. I don't want to have to fake myself just to make you happy. Coz I know you can never replace my friends. They were always there even when I'm at my worst...

Right now I'm going through some emotional turbulence. I've grown attach to that someone that I'm at lost now that it kinda not possible for us to be friends anymore. I'm upset that I never get to see him happy before I left. I wish he found who he was looking for. For unless he is happy with someone else, I can't help but wonder of 'what if'. Loosing a friend is never easy. But people move on so I'm hope I can too.

Things at home didn't go well either. When everybody else running to come home, I was looking for a way to run away from home. I guess I need my quiet and peace. I guess having been the only kid at home before shape me up to be like this. It takes a lot for me to tolerate with the kids. But I'm learning. Time will tell if I succeed...


p/s : Please watch over my farm. It would be great if you could fertilize it...

HONEST SECTION

Honestly, what color is your underwear?
Pink,black,blue,red,yellow

Honestly, whats on your mind?
Ragu Roshan :D

Honestly, what are you doing right now?
Doing this tag.

Honestly, have you done something bad today?
Erm..I talk nonsenx bout my frend!!!

Honestly, do you watch Disney channel?
Nope.

Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
My pet bro.

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?
Nope.

Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?
When I am so determined to do something but in the end turned down.

Honestly, do you bite your nails?
Ah~ NO!! That's a BAD habit

Honestly, do you want to see someone this very momen
all my pet sis and pet bro :)

Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now?
No I guess.

Honestly, do you have a friend you don’t actually like?
yes.

Honestly, does anyone like you?
Yeah, my boo :D in my dreams la..


CAN SECTION


Can you blow a bubble?
Duh! xD

Can you dance?
If someone teaches me :D


Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?
No

Can you touch your toes?
Of course :D

Can you whistle?
Oh yeah :)

Can you wiggle your ears?
Nope >.<>
Yup.

Can you make a clover with your tongue?
I can!!! hahaha xD



ANGER SECTION


What do you do when you’re mad?
I get mad of course and I'll lie on bed and close my eyes and think of something else that makes me happy :)

What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad?
shout to someone

Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?
Many xD

Do you swear when you’re mad?
Haha xD I swear like no ones business when i am mad xD



TEAR SECTION


Ever really cried your heart out?
Yup.

Ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yes.

Ever cried on your friend’s shoulder?
Yup.

Ever cried over the same sex?
Ya.

Do you cry when you get an injury?
Ya xD

Do certain songs make you cry?
No.

Do certain movies make you cry?
Yes.


HAPPY SECTION


Are you usually a happy person?
Ya, most of the time :D

What makes you the happiest?
My sayangs, my friends, my sis and bro, music, art, and MAM MAM!!! xD

Does being with your friends make you happy?
Definitely! :D

Do you believe in yourself?
Mm..I think..wait, of course :D

Do you wish you were happier?
I am happy now :D

Is being happy overrated?
NO!

Can music make you happy?
Yes! :D



LOVE SECTION


How many times have you had your heart broken?
many tymes lo

Have you ever loved someone so much that you’d die for them?
Nope.


Has anyone besides your friends/family ever said ‘I love you’ to you?
Friends. They say that always :D


HATE SECTION



Do you actually hate anyone?
No. Dislike adalah :D

Ever made a hit list?
Nope.

Have you ever been on a hit list?
I think..yea.

Are you a mean bully?
I can be one xD


SELF-ESTEEM SECTION


Is your self-esteem extremely low?
Depends on what i am facing.

Are you good looking?
No. I need to improve here :'(

Do you wish you could be someone else?
Sometimes but you wouldn't know that actually some other ppl is also dying to become you so, LOVE yourself :D



PHYSICAL SECTION


What is your current hair color?
black.

Current piercings
Ears. one on the right. One on the left. Gonna get more :D

Have any tattoos?
No but might consider one xD

Straight hair or curly?
It's not THAT straight and not THAT curly. wavy i guess..

What shirt are you wearing?
My own shirt xD

Pants
Shorts.

Shoes
No xD



HAVE YOU EVER SECTION


Hugged someone
Plenty! :D

Been on the phone until the sun came up?
Nope.

Laughed so hard you peed in your pants?:
NO!

Laughed so hard you cried?:
Of course :D

Got in a fight with someone?:
yes!! so many tymes!! im a gangsta


LASTS SECTION


Person you talked to in person:
Myself? xD

Person you talked to online:
my fb frends :D

Person you hugged:
xoxoxoox

Person you kissed
boo


RANDOM SECTION



Do you like surveys?
Okay lar~

Do you get along with your parents?
Ya.

Do you have mental breakdowns?
All teens suffer this i guess xD


CURRENT SECTION


Current mood:
Dry xD

Current Music:
emo

Current crush:
xoxoxoxoxxo xD

Current thing I ought to be doing
Wash my clothes :D

Current windows open
blogger.

Current desktop picture
A devil and an angel in a nice way XD




DID SECTION


Did you ever get into a fist fight in school?
yez!! wit chu

Did you ever run away from home?
No.

Did you ever want to be a doctor?
No.

Did you ever want to be a fire fighter?
No.



LASTS SECTION AGAIN


Last person you hung out with?
Friends :D

Last thing someone said to you?
"When u gonna changed urself??"

Last time you slept in all morning?
Nope.

Last thing you said out loud:
"I'll changed."



WHAT SECTION



What is the weather outside?Dark and cold?
It's going to be dark soon.

What radio station do you listen to?
I dont listen to radios.

What was the last restaurant you ate at?
Can't remember xD

What was the last thing you had to drink?
soya bean

What was the last movie you watched?
Avatar :D


WHO SECTION


Who is your newest friend you added to Facebook?
Dunno.

Who was the last person you texted
arvinder singh :D


Who was the last person you took pictures of?
nalini ♥



Tagging all who wants to do this tag :D

Bored 2009 & Happening 2010 !

Happppyyy
Newwww
Yearrrrrr
to all my lovelings ♥
Hope you all
have a properous year.
best wishes in life.
And, enjoyyyyyyy!
so it's bye-bye 2oo9,
hellooooo 2o1o!

i'm asking myself.

Am i the only
colour
in this
black and WHITE
world?
ps/ what HAPPENED to the colours?
smile people! (;

Yesterday i went to shamini house,and it was a enjoyfull journey xhat i never had in my frend home!!! She as a big house and big family who gather in her house for christmas....his aunty and uncle came from spore...and their son jason.i was little shy,coz i feel lyke disturbing them...ermmm ...but honestly..
I guess the wont feel lyke xhat..coz they invite me so nicely ..and it makes me little..happy lo...

I went to her home,coz want to join her for sheela wedding dinner...at 7.30 at nite lo...
I guess im in her home at 12.30pm ,and still got alot of tyme to go lo..
Ermmm her family already have plan everthing,they plan to go beach near kuantan asso lo...and the famous beach in kuantan...of coz teluk chempedak lo...we went there at 2.00pm ...and have fun over there...took lunch in mcd lo..

After went bck,i,shamini,and her mom get ready for sheela wedding dinner..
Her father send us to the resort which sheela wedding dinner held...
Ermmm...i got saw alot of my schoolmate there...
Mostly ngo,seng,dibah,sue,zahirah,and some of sheela relative xhat i know lo..
Ermmm so far i feel so happy..xhat we gather in sheela wedding dinner...and hopefully sure she will feel the same lo..

Here a few photos xhat i snap for memoriess....

shamini,seng,charles,sheela,ngo and me

me and sheela

ngo and me

seng and me

me and shamini

me and sue

me,sue,adibah&fly,and shamini

After went bck from sheela dinner,we went to megamall for a while..
And i gather wit shamini fly,,,,
and we got took alot of pic for keep in touch..
so far im happy ...to know shamini fly..so well..
and enter sheela wedding dinner...will miss u choo much sheela...keep in touch ♥muaxxxxxxxxxx

Sham aunty,me,shamini and her sis shanti wit her children

Someone once warn me about something.
Being the stubborn person that I am, I denied it. Who I'm kidding? I'm not so
sure anymore. But now it comes to haunt me. If she was around she would told me
"I told you so". I admit defeat. No use denying it. Now I'm gonna sulk. But in
time, I'll get better and I'll tell her "When it comes to the matter of the
heart, there's just no way of controlling it. But even when it knocks you down,
you'll find a way to get back up again. I've enjoyed it while it last, but
now... I'll chalk it up as experience". If you're afraid to take risks, how
would you know what awaits you at the end of the road? Sometimes, it's not the
about reaching the end of the road, it's the journey that matters. Take chances,
you'll be rewarded, in one way or another...

Merry♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Christmas♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪We Wish You a Merry ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪Christmas ♥ ♥ ♥We Wish You A Merry ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪Christmas ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪...And A Happy New Year!♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪...

LOST MY PHONE

• ermmm i feel so bad now...
• ermm i lost my phone inside the taxi lo..
• the taxi men..lie 2 me and never tell the true!!
• my sony erricson xhat i bought for RM800..
• losttttttttttttttttttt....
• damm it!!!
• ermmmm.....

LOVE LETTER!!

Love madness.Dear my precious one,

I never thought seeing someone like you. You totally clashing of what I am thinking of you are. Turn up the individual that I think will broke my heart one day, is essentially my Prince Charming. You are my eyes, my ears, my hand and my leg. You are my heartbeats. Pretty much, you are my everything. The way you carried yourself and the way you teach me to do the same flabbergast me. I am stunned, bewitch by your love. Love that I guess been kept from me for this 20 years. I am fortunate, I must say. I found the one, I dare say. My life is with you and I am so delighted. It is never too early for me to feel this kind of love, love that felt so true, to give so sky-scraping commitment as I am saying I am fortunate and I’ve done playing around. I am committed to this one particular person, forever, I wish. This is not a gag, puppy crappy love. No. Some people couldn’t even find the love they desire. I lost somebody and I found you and ever since that I never looked back. Never and never flashing back all the history which not including you. For now, it is all you and I am happy that way. I dare not to say what we had now is faultless, perfect but I will say it is more than enough. More than I ever expected from you. We are imperfect, there is always something off beam and we sometime can’t shun ourselves from arguing about it. But like you’ve said, it’s the process for us to know each other, to link with one another. You said it will irk without some argument, raising voice or madness upon this relationship.I must agree on that. We bring tears, laughter and happiness to one another. We complete us. We are contrast that compliments each other. I am going to hold on just like you will.

For thousand times I will always say that I am sorry being impractical and ridiculous sometime. I am sorry freaking out about brainless stuff.I am sorry putting you in several circumstances (did I??) And tell you what? Don’t you ever feelinsecure about me being social-butterfly, centre of attention or you are nonsensically think that someone will kick your ass and take me away from you. No, no that wouldn’t happen. I don’t want to kill myself, no. Told you, you are my heartbeat. There’s no one will win my heart like you did, hubby. I am very imperfect. Everyone does, but my imperfection causes heartache, misery to you sometime, right? I am extremely stubborn. I am highly ego. I like to take control in almost everything. But still, you love me the way I am. You said that’s what so special about me other than the way I care about you. You always think that I am giving up on you. No, never. I will always remember the day you’ve taken care of me when I am sick. I will always remember the way you look at me. I will always remember the way you touch my hair and flip it from hiding my forehead. I will always remember the day you cry when you told me your darkest secret. I will always remember the way you say “ I LOVE YOU ” to me. I will always remember the steps that we had when we dance.I will always remember every single thing about you. I am poison by you. I am hunger for your love. And I will always be. I am having the greatest experience of my time which is being with you. I love you and I love you.

G.I.R.L

, I am a G . I . R . L

G = Girl

I = In

R = Real

L = Life

who loves shopping

who loves make-up

who loves high heels

who loves PINK stuff

who loves attention

who loves to be pampered

who loves nice clothes

who loves glam accessories

who loves His Boy

and always GEWDIK wit her galfwenz..

wat do u think bout dat? (^_*)

INTRESTING FACTS ABOUT MEMORY!!!

For people who have a same prob wit me (short-term memory
lost.hu3..), enjoy reading diz facts by Dr Yip Swe Chooi. huhuhu.. (^_*)

What is memory? People often talk about their memory as though their
memory is an object that can be possessed. Memory isn't something that
can be seen, touched or weighed like an object. It is a mental process and
not something you can hold in your hand.

How does our memory work? We remember things by association. Each
The more you know about a particular topic the easier it is to remember
or to learn new things about that topic because you have more "hooks" for
the new information to hook on.

Why do most of us have a bad memory? The truth is that most of us have
a good memory. The memory performance does not match the potential is
because we do not practice using it efficiently or we do not learn memory
techniques to remember better.

How can we learn to remember better? Since memory works by association,
create an association between the information will enable us to remember better.

For example, if you want to remember the following list: hamburger-refrigerator-car-dictionary-tiger-chair-radio-pencil

All you have to do is to visualize in your mind:
1. a hamburger shivering inside a refrigerator
2. a refrigerator is put inside a car.
3. a car crashes onto a giant dictionary.
4. a dictionary with pictures of tigers.
5. a tiger is sitting on a chair

6. a chair with a radio hanging on it.
7. turn on the radio with a pencil.

If you can form vivid associations, you will be surprised how easy it

is to remember the list. The idea is to be creative and visualize in

your mind the associations that connect the information together.

HOW 2 DETECT HIDDEN CAMERA IN D TOILET!!

Check with your handphone, make sure that your
handphone can still make a call before you enter a
restroom.And after entering into that particular toilet,
if your phone cannot make a call out (this
is due to the interference of fibre opticduring implementation),
it means that there is a HIDDEN CAMERA inside, so be very cautious ladies!!

when it all goin to start

When will my prince come
to sweep me off my feet?
When will my long,lost love
be found?
When will there be
someone out there that would love me for me
When will there be a time
where my heart doesn't break?
When will my happy ending come?
When will people see
that there is more to me
then what they see.

A life without you
A mystery of wonder and doubt
A song
that cannot speak to my love for you holds too many limits
It has never pained me so much than to imagine your trick
You would tell me it's only for a minute you'll be right back
But I can't help but worry this may be your last disappearing act

EVERTHING ABOUT GIRLZ!!!

When a GIRL is quiet ...





When a GIRL is quiet ...
millions of things are running in her mind.



When a GIRL is not arguing ...
she is thinking deeply.



When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how
long you will be around.



When a GIRL answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds ... she is not at all
fine.

When a GIRL stares at you she is wondering why you are lying.



When a GIRL lays on your chest .. she is wishing for you to be hers forever.



When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered.

When a GIRL says ' I love you ' .. she means it.



When a GIRL says ' I miss you ' .... no one in this world can miss you more than
that.



Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person ....



Find a guy .. who calls you beautiful instead of hot.

who calls you back when you hang up on him.

who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who ..... kisses
your forehead.

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he
is to have you.

Who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!! '



If you open this you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck
for the rest of your life!!!!!



If I don't get this back I guess your not my friend. If you have a lot of love for
someone.

copy and send this to your whole list. In 5 minutes your true love will call or
message you..



Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they like you. Something good
will happen to you at approx. 1:42pm tomorrow, it could be anywhere.



So get ready for the biggest shock of your life. If you break this chain,you
will be cursed with relationship problems for the most important time of your
life.

Send this to 15 people in 15 minutes to carry on the chain...and spare yourself
the emotional stress.
I'll send this and wait for my dream phone call tomorrow.

WAIT,

no-one knows my phone number, lol

oh well, lets have fun and see if anyone writes me, lol

I will still be SMILING.

QUESTIONS TO ASK GIRLS

Using Confidence to Talk to a Girl & Why You Need Questions

When you talk to a girl, you are going to have to ask her questions,otherwise you would never be able to get to know her. Even though this may seem like a difficult prospect, asking a girl questions is really the easiest part of the conversation. When you ask her a question, she starts to talk, and she gives you information that you can build on,information that you can respond to.Because she is going to start to interact with you after your very first question, all that you have to do is; relax (easier said than done, I know), listen to what she says, and then respond.


Don't worry so much about where the conversation is going to go, but instead focus on where you are at. If you do, you will find that you won't get so nervous (since you will be listening to her rather than thinking of the next thing that you are going to say), and you will be able to converse much easier.

Listening Is the Key to Talking

Yes, this may seem like a contradiction, but in fact listening is the most important part of the conversation, and unfortunately, it is also the most overlooked (or under heard). Despite having an entire arsenal of questions, if you don't listen to what she says, you might as well not even have started talking to her.
Listening is so important because if all you are doing is firing off questions and not listening to what she is saying, then you are not really having a conversation at all (you are either talking at her, or talking to yourself, neither of which will get you very far). Another reason is that it's so crucial that you listen is that she will tell you what to talk to her about. In addition, you can't learn about her unless you listen to what she is telling you

HE BROKE MY HEART!!!

I was so happy coz u enter in my life!! But itz juzt a dream coz u came 2 my life ,where do u lie 2 me coz want to be with me!!!

I so upset when everthing I set with u juzt a dream!!! Why should u do tiz 2 me? Omg I never guezz tiz will hapend 2 me!!! I love u so much….but everthing juzt a dream I never heard in my life!!

U should tell me from begin xhan I will consider bout it!! But now after I get know the reall…I was wondering why should I get in love wit u xhat more younger xhan me 3yearz but act lyke 20 yearz gu!y!

Itz really hurt coz I love u!!

im so stupid trust everthing u said 2 me,but now I leave u and go….im happy for xhat coz I can get better xhan u!!!

itz really hurt,xhaz only the way I gonna fine my own life soon.I can’t accept u in my life anymore ….im so sory!!!!

DEEPAVALI MOMENT

I know its late but if raya goes on for one month, why not deepavali?

So, on deepavali morning, I went to temple. And the first thing I did when back from temple iz run to the living room and eat my mom muruku.

There is only three because I ate the rest. haha. In my family we can have deepavali without new stuff, new clothes, without relatives but not without my mom muruku and custard cookies. And not to forget, the almond landon.


yea, it's that little because I ate the rest. haha :)

All my relatives were there and it was nice because I haven't seen them so long, especially my cousins. Only God knows when was the last time we met.



Me and durga my lil cousin sis





Me and kogi sis



After that, they went back on the same day!!!

But deepa;s pamily stayed in my home for 1 day!!!xhat moment really enjoyable...
Deepa sleep in my room.And i drunk carseberg...
Itz really cool,
At the morning we went out for shopping!!
We went to SSF for bought some stuff!!
Here some pic xhat we captured for memoriez!!!



Me and my lovely sis deepa



Me and myself



Wit deepa mom,my lovely atta



Gonna mizz them soonnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.............
That's all for now. Chao :)

HAPPY DEEPAVALI!!!

I would like to wish all Hindu readers, bloggers, friends and visitors Happy Diwali/Divali/Deepavali/Deewali.


For those who is keen to know what is the meaning of Diwali/Divali/Deepavali/Deewali, I’ve got this from mr Wiki:

Diwali,or Deepawali, (also called Tihar and Swanti in Nepal) (Markiscarali) is a major Indian and Nepalese festive holiday. A significant festival in Hinduism and some of the other faiths which originated in India – Jainism and Sikhism. Today it is celebrated by Hindus, Jains and Sikhs across the globe as the “Festival of Light,” where the lights or lamps signify victory of good over the evil within every human being. The festival is also celebrated by Buddhists of Nepal, particularly the Newar Buddhists.The Sanskrit word Deepavali means an array of lights that stands for victory of brightness over darkness. As the knowledge of Sanskrit diminished, the name was popularly modified to Diwali, especially in northern India. The word “Divali/Diwali” is a corruption of the Sanskrit word “Deepavali” (also transliterated as “Dipavali”). Deepa/dipa means “light of the dharma”, and avali means “a continuous line”. The more literal translation is “rows of clay lamps”.