i slept at 4am last night mann.
and i wasn't tired, at all !
even now im hyped out lah!
what the hell was wrong with me??
well, i was falling in love ♥
the new guy,
nice ; sweet ; funny ; friendly ;
having feelings for me?
aiyoyoks. what should i do?
but who knew,
we chat chat chat `
and slowly,
we had some chemistry going on..
i ironically fell for him, too.
but, something went wrong.
although i stil like him,
that 3rd person kinda ruined it.
i don't know, but im not angry of anyone ;
in fact, im in love with TWO guys?
Ohhh goshhhh `
but, how could i be such a jerk?
i am loyal.
i know i am.
therefore my decision...
i LOVE [ mr new guy in my life ], as my bestest guy fren ever!!!
i like him [ mr considered-old guy in my life ] cuz im loyal
and mr new guy is willing to sacrifise and help me..
conclusion :
♥ MR NEW GUY !! it doesn't matter that now i've made up my mind
i know, i stil like you, not only as my fren...
i don't regret liking you, at all !!!

UPDATED

X to the power of N ....no update my blog dy...
!!SRY!!
lately too tension dy,so long long time no update..

TENSION
TENSION
TENSION><
i cannot tahan dy...the pressure is so BIG!
S.O.S

Update on yours truly...

I don't know if anyone still reading this. But since the purpose of this blog is to replace my diary, I'm still gonna write when I feel there's a need for it. But if there's anyone out there who still read this blog, then I have to apologize.

Lately I've been feeling out of sorts. So I've taken to not writing when I'm emotional. If you noticed, I've taken down my last entry coz I believe it wasn't appropriate to be viewed by others. It's one thing to be upset at someone, but it's a low blow to air it out when I didn't even confront them face to face. That's my weakness. No matter how upset I am at someone, I hate confrontation. But I'm learning that no one is perfect. So either I do something about it or let it go.

Last few weeks was tough (emotionally) for me. Relationship questions was flung left and right. So I'm going to clear something up here. It was out of choice and some of them are not. I'm not the type to just have a casual fling and see where it leads. I'm the type who would date with only the thought of marriage. So I'll probably never going to date until I'm old. Yes, at times I'm gonna be very lonely. I do get jealous watching people have someone to rely on. But I'm not gonna fall victim on the trend where it's cool to have boyfriend. Yes, I'm very childish, 'manja' and clingy. But I'm only like that towards my friends. So don't misinterpret that. I'm not a lesbian, he's not my 'boyfriend' just because we hang out a lot. Btw, I have no problem being friends with guys, but I'm starting to get tired of people's misconception about the word 'friend'. I may take other people words lightly, but I'm very considerate towards my friends feelings. If being friends with me cause more harm than joy to them, I tend to step back.

Yes, I don't have a happy face all the time. I sucks at conversation with strangers. And I'm in no way 'friendly'. I have a lot of friends. I'm very clingy towards them but I do know my limits. And I'm not looking forward to change that. I don't want to have to fake myself just to make you happy. Coz I know you can never replace my friends. They were always there even when I'm at my worst...

Right now I'm going through some emotional turbulence. I've grown attach to that someone that I'm at lost now that it kinda not possible for us to be friends anymore. I'm upset that I never get to see him happy before I left. I wish he found who he was looking for. For unless he is happy with someone else, I can't help but wonder of 'what if'. Loosing a friend is never easy. But people move on so I'm hope I can too.

Things at home didn't go well either. When everybody else running to come home, I was looking for a way to run away from home. I guess I need my quiet and peace. I guess having been the only kid at home before shape me up to be like this. It takes a lot for me to tolerate with the kids. But I'm learning. Time will tell if I succeed...


p/s : Please watch over my farm. It would be great if you could fertilize it...

HONEST SECTION

Honestly, what color is your underwear?
Pink,black,blue,red,yellow

Honestly, whats on your mind?
Ragu Roshan :D

Honestly, what are you doing right now?
Doing this tag.

Honestly, have you done something bad today?
Erm..I talk nonsenx bout my frend!!!

Honestly, do you watch Disney channel?
Nope.

Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
My pet bro.

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?
Nope.

Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?
When I am so determined to do something but in the end turned down.

Honestly, do you bite your nails?
Ah~ NO!! That's a BAD habit

Honestly, do you want to see someone this very momen
all my pet sis and pet bro :)

Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now?
No I guess.

Honestly, do you have a friend you don’t actually like?
yes.

Honestly, does anyone like you?
Yeah, my boo :D in my dreams la..


CAN SECTION


Can you blow a bubble?
Duh! xD

Can you dance?
If someone teaches me :D


Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?
No

Can you touch your toes?
Of course :D

Can you whistle?
Oh yeah :)

Can you wiggle your ears?
Nope >.<>
Yup.

Can you make a clover with your tongue?
I can!!! hahaha xD



ANGER SECTION


What do you do when you’re mad?
I get mad of course and I'll lie on bed and close my eyes and think of something else that makes me happy :)

What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad?
shout to someone

Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?
Many xD

Do you swear when you’re mad?
Haha xD I swear like no ones business when i am mad xD



TEAR SECTION


Ever really cried your heart out?
Yup.

Ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yes.

Ever cried on your friend’s shoulder?
Yup.

Ever cried over the same sex?
Ya.

Do you cry when you get an injury?
Ya xD

Do certain songs make you cry?
No.

Do certain movies make you cry?
Yes.


HAPPY SECTION


Are you usually a happy person?
Ya, most of the time :D

What makes you the happiest?
My sayangs, my friends, my sis and bro, music, art, and MAM MAM!!! xD

Does being with your friends make you happy?
Definitely! :D

Do you believe in yourself?
Mm..I think..wait, of course :D

Do you wish you were happier?
I am happy now :D

Is being happy overrated?
NO!

Can music make you happy?
Yes! :D



LOVE SECTION


How many times have you had your heart broken?
many tymes lo

Have you ever loved someone so much that you’d die for them?
Nope.


Has anyone besides your friends/family ever said ‘I love you’ to you?
Friends. They say that always :D


HATE SECTION



Do you actually hate anyone?
No. Dislike adalah :D

Ever made a hit list?
Nope.

Have you ever been on a hit list?
I think..yea.

Are you a mean bully?
I can be one xD


SELF-ESTEEM SECTION


Is your self-esteem extremely low?
Depends on what i am facing.

Are you good looking?
No. I need to improve here :'(

Do you wish you could be someone else?
Sometimes but you wouldn't know that actually some other ppl is also dying to become you so, LOVE yourself :D



PHYSICAL SECTION


What is your current hair color?
black.

Current piercings
Ears. one on the right. One on the left. Gonna get more :D

Have any tattoos?
No but might consider one xD

Straight hair or curly?
It's not THAT straight and not THAT curly. wavy i guess..

What shirt are you wearing?
My own shirt xD

Pants
Shorts.

Shoes
No xD



HAVE YOU EVER SECTION


Hugged someone
Plenty! :D

Been on the phone until the sun came up?
Nope.

Laughed so hard you peed in your pants?:
NO!

Laughed so hard you cried?:
Of course :D

Got in a fight with someone?:
yes!! so many tymes!! im a gangsta


LASTS SECTION


Person you talked to in person:
Myself? xD

Person you talked to online:
my fb frends :D

Person you hugged:
xoxoxoox

Person you kissed
boo


RANDOM SECTION



Do you like surveys?
Okay lar~

Do you get along with your parents?
Ya.

Do you have mental breakdowns?
All teens suffer this i guess xD


CURRENT SECTION


Current mood:
Dry xD

Current Music:
emo

Current crush:
xoxoxoxoxxo xD

Current thing I ought to be doing
Wash my clothes :D

Current windows open
blogger.

Current desktop picture
A devil and an angel in a nice way XD




DID SECTION


Did you ever get into a fist fight in school?
yez!! wit chu

Did you ever run away from home?
No.

Did you ever want to be a doctor?
No.

Did you ever want to be a fire fighter?
No.



LASTS SECTION AGAIN


Last person you hung out with?
Friends :D

Last thing someone said to you?
"When u gonna changed urself??"

Last time you slept in all morning?
Nope.

Last thing you said out loud:
"I'll changed."



WHAT SECTION



What is the weather outside?Dark and cold?
It's going to be dark soon.

What radio station do you listen to?
I dont listen to radios.

What was the last restaurant you ate at?
Can't remember xD

What was the last thing you had to drink?
soya bean

What was the last movie you watched?
Avatar :D


WHO SECTION


Who is your newest friend you added to Facebook?
Dunno.

Who was the last person you texted
arvinder singh :D


Who was the last person you took pictures of?
nalini ♥



Tagging all who wants to do this tag :D

Bored 2009 & Happening 2010 !

Happppyyy
Newwww
Yearrrrrr
to all my lovelings ♥
Hope you all
have a properous year.
best wishes in life.
And, enjoyyyyyyy!
so it's bye-bye 2oo9,
hellooooo 2o1o!